Healthy Relationship building

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Building a Healthy Relationship

Q: What exactly is a “healthy” relationship?

A: No matter what type of relationship it is -- a family relationship, a friendship or a romantic relationship, -- there are four key components that make for a “healthy” relationship:

RESPECT A healthy relationship involves mutual respect -- taking the time to discover and enjoy what each person has to share and contribute to the relationship. Respecting your partner means actively listening to what they say and need, and trying to understand their point of view. It also means valuing their worth as an individual and respecting what is important to them. When respect is absent from a relationship, power becomes imbalanced and one partner will dominate over the other. Usually, the less dominant partner is forced to sacrifice autonomy, values, goals, or other relationships.

HONESTY A healthy relationship means not only being honest with your partner, but also being honest with yourself. Some challenging questions you should ask yourself are what are my thoughts and feelings about this relationship, what do I want to happen in this relationship, and how do I want it to grow? Having a solid understanding of your true feelings will better prepare you for sharing them honestly with your partner. Healthy relationships thrive when both individuals involved share who they truly are and what they truly desire. Deceit and manipulation only destroy a relationship.

TRUST A healthy relationship involves trust -- each individual feeling they truly know their partner and are truly respected by their partner. It also entails feeling confident that your partner will be there for you in times of need as well as joy. Trust is established through honesty and respect and is built over time. On the other hand, it may take only one broken promise to completely shatter it.

COMMUNICATION In a healthy relationship, communication is the vehicle through which partners demonstrate their respect, honesty and trust. Communication has two ingredients: 1) clearly expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs and wishes, and 2) actively listening to the thoughts, feelings, needs and wishes of your partner. Through communication, individuals learn about their partner and gain a deeper understanding of how to enrich their relationship.
Healthy relationships require time to develop. They do not unfold overnight, or even in a week. They require an individual’s willingness to invest time and emotion as well as a willingness to change and grow.

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Source: Healthy Relationships: Building Foundations of Caring and Respect. The BACCHUS & GAMMA Peer Education Network, 1998.